INCH BY INCH

1. Who has not heard of the saying, ‘Man proposes, and God disposes’? Well, there are variations to the theme! It could be… ‘Gangulys propose, cats dispose’ or perhaps…  Man possesses and dogs dispossesses. They, the sweet innocent creatures, could very well be agents of God?! I could give you a lot of examples of the latter. Snap, our highly eccentric dog, with great determination and diligence chewed through a brand new cane set and whole lot of things before zeroing on a female friend’s mobile. Seeing the victim crying silent buckets of tears we were left with no option but to confine Snap in a cage. Things took a peculiar turn when Snap, who must have had a traumatic childhood, fell for the cage and would not vacate it much after the friend had left! Chutux, is quite capable of occupying your chair if you get up for a minute. Dislodging her is another story altogether. Turbo doesn’t wait for an opportunity. He is a friendly bulldozer who can knock/ nudge you out of your bed when he wants to express his love for you.

Coming to the cats..well they are far more complicated than dogs. They are strategists. They plan, they plot, they improvise, they can do anything to be one up on you! Believe it or not, when we went in for our house it was for the sake of the four legged inmates. We chose a place far from civilization (where few complaining neighbours were found), with a fair bit of garden where they could romp around in peace.

We were determined that our nice airy house would not be spoilt by grills. The dogs were there to make sure there were no intruders and garden fences would ensure that no animal escaped. A lot of thought went into planning the fences which were supposed to be fool proof. Alas, it was not to be! For several months one or the other cat would escape and we would get into action about plugging the exit point.

The first casualty was the terrace. A grill was put up to prevent the cats from escaping from there. On the third day after moving in Moti had escaped and taken a flying leap from the third floor terrace !

A day or two later Jhandu squeezed himself through the bars. Some very ugly tin contraptions were put up so that no cat could sit on the wall!

It took a few days for Trina to discover that it was eminently possible to be on the other side of the wall by taking a flying leap from the spiral staircase. The height of the fence had to increase and now you can get a crick in the neck looking up at it !

My better half became my bitter half when all gardening plans were periodically aborted. No plants can be too near the fence as they may become exit points. Moreover, there are innumerable plants that are not compatible to cats and dogs! Check up the net and you will find that half your garden needs uprooting. Mother-in-law’s tongue (a very common plant) cannot wag and neither can chrysanthemums shake their heads in your garden if you are proud owners of cats and dogs!

Over the next one year we reached a plateau. Kutzn could and would escape over the fence if let out in the garden. Her one and only sister, Blondie too could escape but would not do so necessarily. Blondie would escape if left unsupervised for a while. Smudge, whose figure would be a source of envy for any model, could glide through the bars without a hitch and there was no sign of her growing bigger or fatter.

Smudge and Mee Too (Smudge is a full grown cat whereas Mee Too just a kitten)

Smudge

The mahogany trees planted close to the fence grew till they became exit points for the tree lovers like Smudge, Metoo, Chichi, Pixie and Chess. R came up with a solution. The tree trunks were wrapped in a segment of tin sheet. Wonder of wonders it worked.

Mee Too up the Mahogany

Trapped in the Mahogany

Being rescued

Thanks from Mee Too to the rescuer

It was decided that it was time to make another attempt. This time it was going to be fool-proof. Two additional rods were put between bars. This would surely keep Smudge indoors. Moreover the fence would be topped by inward curving spikes which would perhaps keep Blondie and Kutzn in.

Over the next three days the grill- mistris got into action. For three days the cats were confined indoors while the work was in progress.

Finally the day arrived. B said that we had to let everyone out to see whether the plan had succeeded. We took position at various points in the garden.

The ‘V’ from where Kutzn escaped

The wall Kutzn scales to make the great escape

Behind bars

The monstrosity we call home (Note the tin sheet on the Mahogany)

Kutzn rushed out chased by Chess. Her attempt in the front garden failed and we relaxed. She rushed to the back garden and tried jumping over. The curved spikes prevented her from doing so. She swung from one bar to the next using the rods like a monkey ladder. She made it to the edge and hoisted herself like a true gymnast and next moment she was gone! B who had been stationed just at that point was so fascinated that she quite forgot what she was required to do!

Now we are waiting for her to return. A window has been cut out for her benefit. I think a human sized window should be made so that we can sneak out to catch her. All suggestions are welcome. We are running out of ideas. I thought a mirror fixed at the exit point could perhaps freak her out and keep her indoor!!!

PS: Kutzn is back

PPS???: Blondie is out!