A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A RETIRED SCHOOL TEACHER

If you have retired I am sure you have been asked , “ What do you do now?” Exasperating! It doesn’t matter if you say that you have a million things to do…. it has to be something connected with the past if it has to weigh anything. As my retirement neared I realized that my holidays were coming to an end. No more running away to school when things became impossible! Well , this is an article devoted to all those who have been wondering what I do when I am not teaching.
Today is not exactly a special day that is to say , no more special than any other day. Ours is a special family bursting at the seams with rescued animals. Actually it is we who need rescuing from the rescued. Everything runs ship shape when all the members are there to do their bit but if not, then those left have had it. Can you imagine what it is like to manage above three dozen animals without help?
The day starts at four thirty in the morning. Who fixed this as meal time nobody knows. One of the smarter cats I guess. Sharp at 4.30 things begin to happen. Things are dropped, they walk over you, pull at your hair and finally they break into fights so that you just have to get up and get going.
Who laid down the rule of parents not getting up to dole out the food? Well obviously some mean parent! Well, you are up whether you are giving the food or not.
The day begins with the only daughter in town giving out food. So far so good. Things begin hotting up with the maid calling up to say she is sick(of us?). We move to a fast forward mode. T rushes down, late for office, with usual dialogue “ Everything is done. don’t try to do anything- I will come and attend to the rest!” . She rushes down with POKEY in a cage. Pokey is to be let out in the garden, but under supervision, as she is handicapped and Snap and Maggie don’t like her. Just as T is breezing out with her bowl of food (the humans and the four legged having met at a half-way mark) to be had in the car we notice my one and only moving around in the garden with a pen and paper in hand!
“What on Earth is happening?” I ask suspiciously.
“Just taking a cat count” comes the airy answer.
“WHY????” I scream, knowing the answer.
“ The front gate was left open….” he says sheepishly.
If looks could kill we would have had a body, shot twice over through the head. As it was, the bowl of food is junked and a frantic cat count begins. Our cats have matured, they no longer come running at the sound of the pedigree tin. Eventually all are located… even Dandy who had decided to hide behind the AC on the ledge.
Exit T.
I sit with Pokey in the sun for a while and then decide to go upstairs to investigate. I have hardly gone up some 7-8 steps I turn around and find Pokey drinking water. ( too much of it can make them bring up). I rush to stop her and find I have come down faster than I had anticipated…. sitting at the bottom of the staircase. [no sympathy expected… retired people are supposed to be sitting in deck chairs, not rushing around the place]
My bitter half is very caring but unfortunately he always misses such accidents. Even when I have fallen off from the pillion he has the distinction of not having noticed! So, I just pick up the pieces and continue. My arm is bruised and the knee protests but nothing much has happened……so far.
I sit down to miss my daughters. After all what is life when everybody is not at home? {ans: hectic}
I creep up to the second floor to let out Deep Fry. Another candidate for supervision. She is one of the friendliest pups I have known. She just can’t believe that anyone would like to hurt her. So she takes all menacing baring of teeth as Colgate advertisements. In short she is the fool rushing around where angels fear to tread! After troubling all cats and dogs I suddenly find her at my heels on the first floor.

My bones are aching and I decide its the perfect time to lure her back to her den. The pieces of biscuits work beautifully as baits but just when I decide to close the gate to prevent her from going down, she decides to rush back. Imagine my horror when I find her dangling from the first floor and before I can do anything her grip gives way and she falls from the first floor living room to the ground floor one! I rush down not knowing what to expect. I am relieved to find her on her four though her lip is bleeding. She is clever enough to keep it going till half a brick of butter scotch ice cream is consumed. She laps up all the attention and as a celebration tears up the new yoga mat!!
Since DF cannot be sent up , I decide to let out the trio, Master, Wally and Brandy on the terrace. An hour or two later I go to bring them down . Wally and Brandy are waiting at the door. No sign of Master!
Master has jumped into the terrace of our neighbouring house, fortunately unoccupied, and can’t jump back. I scramble up and let down a chair for him to use. He looks puzzled. I have no option but to jump in , using the chair, and rescuing our little fat Master. He is so grateful that I have to forgive him!
I won’t bore you further. I have covered only half the day. Let me just come to the end. Writing an article takes time but in spite of the hectic schedule I AM doing it. Have you wondered why? Well , my creaky knee has given way while trying to stop Smudge from escaping . Now I have got my much earned rest!!!